The Median Post

      Welcome to The Median Post! The only newspaper that isn’t really a newspaper at all.  Here at The Median Post we believe that democracy dies in dankness, the manifestation of all that isn’t ideal.      It is my disinterest to inform you that due to an unsatisfactory professional review of the content produced by intern number 004, who went unaccredited but was still primarily responsible for last week’s article, this aforementioned intern has been placed on permanent leave and evacuated from The Median Post headquarters forevermore. Said intern was responsible for writing a piece with more than 40 unprofessional instances of enthusiasm, more than 15 instances of what expressing partisan sentiment, and over 10 instances of using superfluous metaphors or colorful language to describe matters which could have just as easily have been conveyed in prompt and restrained prose as per our publication’s usual standard. We here at The Median Post apologize...

  Welcome to The Median Post! The only newspaper that isn’t really a newspaper at all. Here at The Median Post we believe in the importance of believing in things, no matter how contradictory those beliefs may be (at least for the moment)!       On behalf of the entire staff of The Median Post I wish you a perfectly adequate day. Lukewarm tidings to one and all! And now, in classic journalistic tradition, keep reading for a media piece by one of our comically underpaid interns. Given how this is their first submission to us we here at The Median Post haven’t yet doled out designated exposure, hence why they remain unaccredited now, but assuming they do enough of a good job to reflect well upon our brand this piece shall be updated to bear evidence of their involvement in due time. Here’s hoping their work passes muster. Without further ado, here’s what one of our interns wrote for this week:      Success is not a five letter word, but then again neithe...

  Welcome to The Median Post!  The only newspaper that isn’t really a newspaper at all.      Here at The Median Post we believe in the importance of standing for things in general, which is why we currently stand for standing for nothing (at least for the moment).      As a skeleton crew of seasoned centrists and general proponents of not stirring the pot too much we understand the dangers posed by over-sensationalism in the media, which is why here at the Medium Post our writers are near exclusively assigned content that neither they or the general public is remotely interested in so as to minimize the chance of excessive sentiment biasing anyone’s coverage.      And on that decidedly note-like note, let’s clunkily segue into our first story: an introductory post from an obscure man nobody cares about!       Greetings! My name is Hunter Gonnerman. I’m a former psychology major who has transitioned into working towar...